jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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