our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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