when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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