i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize