He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
