oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Boobs speak an international language.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
