I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
