I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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