She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
