she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So squirting runs in the family.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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