i permit you to call me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
