and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
