I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize