this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
