ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
