Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
