I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize