my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
