He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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