No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
