She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
