he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
