its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
