There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
