I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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