i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i out mim tonsoeep
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