She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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