I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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