She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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