i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
