So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
