If that was your dad, he is hot
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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