So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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