The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
