Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just high enough for therapy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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