a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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