I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
