You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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