Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
