Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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