I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
