The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
