I'm so fucking centered right now
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
