omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Reggie can tackle my bush.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
