Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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