I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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