McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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