Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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