she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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