i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize