Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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