Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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