No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
