he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
