At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
