I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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