I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
