I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
