so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
