hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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