I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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