Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
