that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
