There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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