Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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