yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
