That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
