Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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