i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nicole vs. Life
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
