If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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