Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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